Detoxification Station

Working from home has two distinct benefits:

1. I’m not in Connecticut
2. I get to listen to “Those Monday Blues” on WWPV in Vermont via webcast.

“Those Monday Blues” are hosted by avid reader and sometimes-commenter, John “One Chord” Connors who offered up several shout-outs to yours truly and one to the Dead Pool on the show tonight. That means very little to everyone else but for me it means a lot because I thought the only mention of The Dead Pool in other media would be on the TV news when I snapped and killed an office full of people with a Bates stapler. But I suppose that’s neither here nor there… time for a weekend recap.

Friday
Friday started with the trip home from Connecticut around noon, and the reminder from Kentes that Boondock Saints II: All Saints Day was opening that night. So Kenny and I and Kenny’s buddy Mike went to the Loews theater on the Common. If you haven’t seen it yet, and you’re expect the same movie as the first, you may or may not be disappointed. I did, and I wasn’t disappointed but it wasn’t what I expected. All Saints Day has a little more trouble than the first with deciding whether it wants to be an action movie or a comedy movie and ends up meandering somewhere in the middle as a pseudo-manifesto on the state of masculinity with Rocco making appearances to speak as of the voice of “men past”.  All in all, if you don’t expect an art-house movie and are in it for the jokes and the gunplay and the stone-cold fox by the name of Julie Benz (who remains hot despite her horrible and unnecessary Southern accent), you will enjoy this movie. Since Duffy actually spent some time learning about film-making between this film and the last, its a little steadier to watch and comes off less as Tarrantino and more as John Woo (early Woo, not like Mission Impossible 2-Woo) without the doves.

Anyways, after the movie we went to Bonnie’s friend Holly’s Halloween party. Yeah, it was a day earlier than Halloween, but whatever an excuse to drink is an excuse to drink. I had been all amped up for Halloween, because I had actually put a modicum (no more) into my costume this year, purchasing a Comedian costume. That was supposed to save me from having to scramble at the last minute for a costume. Yeah well, guess what didn’t fit? So fuck that time to scramble for a last minute costume. Goodbye, Comedian. Hello, The Spirit. For those of you who are unfamiliar with these characters, I switched from a murderous, rapist anti-hero to a sex-obsessed superhero. All told, probably a good call. Furthermore, it continued my pattern of Halloween costumes rotating between either my red flannel shirt or my black suit. I’m now on a five year run going suit-flannel-suit-flannel-suit. So ideas for next years flannel-based costume are welcome.

We got to Forest Hills and changed in the parking lot – always a bold decision at night – and entered Holly’s house to find Bonnie shitplastertrashfaced. She spent most of the night either clinging to my arm so as not to fall down – and then when she fell down, to my leg to ease the spinning – or vomiting. Not exactly the most eventful of parties for myself, but there were a weird group of fire-throwers there. Let me tell you, that is one sub-culture that just goes over the edge on the fucking crazy scale. Now I enjoy playing with dangerous things as much as the next hombre, but the weird secret-name, pseudo-bisexual, quasi-polygamist swerve they added to playing with fire was not up my alley. So I drank Miller Lites with the boys, wished there were prettier girls there, and crashed in on to kids trying to bump uglies because I was trying to check on Bonnie before I left. That was about it. Also, got some texts from the blonde girl that has been mentioned in at least three blogs (The Pool only being one) which was weird because I’d texted and called her earlier in the week to no avail, so I’d given up. Then outta the blue I get the “Hey” text*, which if you’re an overly analytical cat like me can mean a million different things. But there was nothing I could do because there was a drunk girl clinging to my leg and another one trying to molest me and I didn’t feel like driving into Back Bay.

Saturday
Saturday was Moosh’s Halloween party. I got there early, because fuck it why not? I had more than my $5 worth of beer and Jello-shots and probably got roofied a couple times so that was a blasty-blast. I went as The Spirit again, but decided I didn’t want to wear the mask so I didn’t. So I was basically a guy in a suit and a fedora and everyone seemed strangely comfortable with that. I made some new acquaintances by guessing costumes and being overly-friendly like I’m from the Midwest and don’t bleed from the ears I hear anyone say “Yummers!”. Wendy, Kelley and Catt ended up showing up at some point which meant I’d be driving them home in all likelihood. Works fine for me. I’d rather leave with people I’m not gonna sleep with than leave alone. At least I can give people the impression I’m taking three girls home with me and I’m some super-pimp. Speaking of being a super-pimp, I actually met another gorgeous girl at that party. She has a bad-ass name and apparently poses nude while people take pictures of her. Part-time, though. I instantly became regretful that I possessed no camera and had not spent my whole night talking to this girl, since I had found her attractive/interesting when we were both sober and I thought she was “just” an insurance broker. I ended up taking her home. By which I mean her roommate abandoned her and I offered to drive her home. I’m assuming she was initially like “No thanks. I don’t feel like being violated and/or lowering my standards THAT far tonight.” To which I probably responded, “Look, sugar, you’re wearing a four inch skirt, five-inch heels and have been walking up and down this staircase all night; you’re practically dating half the party at this point.” To which I’m sure she responded, “You’re funny and gorgeous. Take me home, stud.”

That or she gave me her number in the hopes of scoring a free ride and then blowing me off when she’s sober. Either way I dropped her off, went back, picked up the other girls and dropped them off before crashing at home.

Sunday
Went and saw Boondock Saints II for a second time. Enjoyed it much more. Watched the Bruins game and was thankful there wasn’t a football game I had to give a fuck about this week, so I could catch up on some reading, movies and detox.

I’ll be in Boston Monday night, driving down to CT for the rest of the week Tuesday after jury duty. Looking forward to that. And to the cube. And to getting blown off by two chicks this week instead of one.

Stay positive,
{VM}

* Technically it was “Yo”, which may be the first time I’ve ever been texted “yo” and it hasn’t been followed with “-yo out of my ass” and preceded by “Come help me get the”.